merry christmas

christmas eve..
although not a christian myself..
but i kinda like christmas..
love the deco around KL..
love the presents.. but not getting one this year..
love the atmoshpere..peace, cold yet warm feelings..
love the songs!!
love the colours..
love the spirit..
love absolutely everything about it..

everyone asking whether i'm going anywhere for christmas??
haha..
why??
cant i be different from everyone??
cant i be doing anything different from everyone??
ya i'm not going anywhere for christmas..
avoid the jam avoid the crowd..
avoid the needs to make up and dress up for party..
avoid the camera..
instead i'm having the most delicious cake in my life!!!
better than secret recipe..
it is the cake i bought from malacca -- tiramisu milk crepe..
suppose to give it to someone..
too bad he cant make it..
so it's mine!!!!
yum yum..
next trip i'm gonna buy back the whole cake!!!!!!
so long for 2010 christmas..
looking forward to the new year..
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE...

back to old times..

i tot i will never have the chance to perform back on stage again..
but it happened on saturday..
and a quite successful performance i would say..
at least the audience had much fun..
playing side by side with my long time fren.. eng..
hahaa i guess it is been a while since v last play the same instrument..

christmas is getting near..
wishes??
haven really think of a proper wishes..
but i would like to have a better skin..
no more pimples blemishes..><
but i think santa cant give me tat..><

d ulcer is killing me..
bonjela to the rescue!!!! ^^

grey..

grey..
is the colour which is most suitable to describe my feelings now..
there are always time tat u can't even smile for the whole day..
gloomy.. and grey..
raining makes thing worst..
it deepen the colour..
feelings sinking deeper..

13th december 2009

can someone help me with y blog??
i duno wat happen with the setting..
somehow there are some error causing the silly weird looking arrangement to my blog..
help..

9th December 2009

jus came back ipoh..

in a day..

visited my uncle in hospital..

hope he will get well pretty soon coz the suffering look on his face is heartening..

xinyu said : why so late still not going to bed?? not good for your skin!!

haihz..

i also know..

but i duno why although i go to bed early i still have trouble finding uncle chow..

mayb my melatonin secreted has not been very efficient after EOS..

talking about tat.. glad tat i passed and can continue to my sem 2 with no worries..

but still duno the exact grade coz lazy to go IMU to collect my result..

hahaa

back to the skin thing..

haihz.. my skin ar.. tat's the second thing tat always make my wrinkles line double..

never ending blemishes.. no matter how much i spend on it..

no matter how i take care of it..

it will eventually pop out a zit..

and the black heads are like mushrooming over my face..

yucks!!! i hate 'em..

trying out the body shop tea tree series..

hmm.. work out the first few days..

but lately the pimples r coming back.. wth!!

haihz.. the smell of the tea tree oil makes me really dizzy... haiyo haiyo..

wanna know how awful the smell is?? go to the body shop and smell the tester..

u will never go near tat thing again.. swear!!

hopefully my skin wont get worst.. ><

3rd December 2009

nerve wrecking day coming..
another few mins to go..
nahhh...
i'm not tat psycho about tat Doomsday-is-coming thing..
guess i'm tired of the feeling of waiting to sit for exams and waiting anxiously for the results..
bt still..
i'm gonna stuck with this exam oriented course for another 3 and a half years..
However, finger crossed.. i jus hope tat my results will come out fine.. never think of being any of the top students.. hate the attention tat will be getting..
although sometimes i wish that i had brain tat will photocopy every word tat i read.. but some to think of it.. it is good to jus be a normal girl..
so wat if i'm not 'brainy'? does tat means tat i cant earn more money then u?
mayb i'll get a rich husband den u do.. muahahaha...
sometimes..
we really should not be studying and studying for the sake of getting good results..
wat is the point of it if we cant enjoy life?
wat is the point if we have no friends??
i'm happy to be surrounded by cool friends..
to have actually enjoy wat i have been through..
enjoy wat i learned from my studies..
instead of jus remembered wat is the functional unit of liver, kidney or nerve..

okay.. admit tat there are a few butterflies..
hopefully i'll get to c my lovely frens in sem 2..
pray hard..
bless me..

1st December 2009

Time flies..
another new month.. but the same old me..
very near to another brand new year..
gotta really think of a proper resolution this time..

blogging..
hmm.. i always dislike blogging..
the main reason is my english sucks.. when i read back.. it's like some primary childrens' essay.. or maybe worst..
another thing is.. i dun really know how to blog..
is blogging means that u write about ur daily activity?
or write your own stories?
i guess they don't have certain rules about it right?
for me..
i take blogging as a place to pour out my feelings..
i will just write wat is in ma mind..
tat's y i dun have a title..
like this post.. i really have no idea wat to name it..

yesterday..
watched a movie with phinn and chia may..
twilight saga-newmoon..
hmm.. no offence but the movie really sucks..
hate their conversations..
so short and boring..and meaningless..
haihz..
one thing tat was worth watching
Jacob's abs!!
ok sorry.. i admit tat i have been very annoying about this whole jacob's abs obsession thingy..
so??
dun stop me or critisize me for so into him unless u also have tat kinda chest and abs..
if yes.. i'll shut up..
haha..
enough with the newmoon.. not worth atlking about it anyway..
but i'm really anticipating the movie tat will be releasing soon..
hopefully i have the chance to watch them..

vacation..
i wanna go..
really wanna go ..
><
miss it last holiday because of some stupid bunch of friends..
hmm guess they r not call friends anymore..
wat kinda friends will treat u like tat..
guess shud call frenemy..
forget it..
not worth talking as well..
in short..
yearning for a holiday..
anywhere will do...
anytime will go..

24th november 2009

Well well well...
Let's see..
someone jus finished her test..
brief description about the post exam feelings..
frankly.. if u stick ur brain on to the notes.. u will have definitely no problem in answering all the questions given.. n mayb getting a 4 flat is not a dfficult thing too..
however...
pretty, adorable, day-dreaming, lazy little girl here..
always tell herself not to stress up.. relax.. dun study so much la.. later not pretty..
ended up..
doing stupid mistakes in the paper..
haihz..

end of the exam thing..
now after exam.. lucky me still can enjoy a 1 month holiday..
not like someone.. haihz..
he dun have holiday..
meaning tat i also dun have lor...
actually quite disappointed..
but wat to do??
who ask him to be the man of my life..
jus feel very pity, with all the sleepless night, he still do not deserve to enjoy any holidays..
OMG.. wat the hell is the dean thinking..
dun let me know who he or she is..
i'll slap him or her in the face..

thinking wat to do with the rest of holidays..
first thing in my list was to clean up my room..
"Check!"
second thing is to watch a movie..
hmmm.. this was suppose to accomplish with someone..
but too bad..
so tmr.. 2012 i'm coming!!
third is going on a trip...
with friends.. or with someone..
hmm.. but looks like it's kinda impossible..
well no harm anticipating.. right??
the rest are shopping for the right cosmetic.. studying for the coming ielts.. and fb-ing!!!

wat a boring to-do-list right??
because the person writing it is also a boring one..
>< aiks..

*the tears i saw in ur eyes sliced my heart into pieces.. pls dun tear anymore.. take care k??

31st october 2009

finally byebye october..
hello november..
It is just a blink when I remember the time i stared at my STPM results..
i never could have seen where i would be at that very time.. neither then nor now..
sometimes.. I wonder whether should i still perserve on what i really wanted all this while..
ya i admit i don't have any single criteria tat make me..
but ...
but...
somewhere... somehow...
still asking me to go for it...
hope is thin i would say...
as i believe 99% of the homosapiens.. jugde on your look before they even speak to you..
base on their jugdement.. they will choose to either look down at you, tease you, or just don't wanna even look an eye on you...
this is so call reality...

dear always look into my eyes and tell me that i'm pretty...
AWWWW...
u know what... although i'm in a very conscious state knowing the fact that i'm actually not...
i still feel very happy about tat..
in fact.. hopelessly beg for more of it~~~

not only it makes me day better..

but also pump in extra confidence in me...
i love u honey ....

that few sentences are not to show off.. ( might kena scold: go get a room!!!! )...
but to remind me that..

dun mind how others look at you..
every girl is pretty in their own way.. no matter how you look.. how you act..
there is always an angel
that will love you for who you are...
and to all that already discovered their angels...
please cherish..

12th October 2009

everyone has a secret..
so i'm not an exception either..
but i do share it with someone i trust..
told 3 persons so i guess this is not a secret anymore..

feel guilty about commiting it..
i think it is not right..
but i cant help it..
if i dun do it.. it wont be fair..
i do care about it.. i care about anything that is related to me.. even if it's not for my own benefits..
but when it is only me who care..
i started to think..
think that why i wanna waste my time ?
why i wanna waste my effort?
instead i could have use that time to spend with my love one..
isnt that better?
i have my own time too..
doesn't mean that i'm the person in charge.. i'll have to carry all the responsibilities..
anyway..
this is all jus grudges.. because i have already made a decision..
jus cant get over my guilt.. shit.. mus learn more from him .. be strong!

thurday got test la wei.. ><
somemore subject that i hate.. not dislike u know.. is totally hating it!
but they always say that the more u hate it, the more u cant get it.. ><
so i decided not to hate it until the end of the test..
i love stats..

mom jus ask me how was studies...
my answer: "ok lah...."
hmm..
i know she wan me to get more than 3.9 coz can discount 30% from the tuition fee..
i know i should study harder in order to achieve that..
but somehow..
i dun really care much anymore compare to last time..
i really duno why..
it's like i started to live life easily..
not taking studies that seriously anymore..
but that does not mean that i will start to ponteng la..
jus mayb i wont give my 200% when come to preparation for exams...
somehow.. i think that a good thing.. which i wont stress myself tat much anymore..
no more migraine..
no more gastric..
isn't that better?
haha
syok sendiri to ask myself not to study so much.. ><
haihz..

i guess mayb i realise that sometimes, things jus dun go the way u want them to be..
although u already planned them..
but accidents do happen...
plans do change..
people do change..
what can we do is to look at the bright side..
smile and smile and smile..
although u heart is breaking..
tears is falling...
jus SMILE..
that was what i did..
and i have come this far..
i love me..
thank you...

22th of september

another 4 weeks left to the end of my semester 1 of bpharm..
cant really foresee it last time..
kept remind me about the tarot reading in TARC..
wonder whether is it that accurate and true??
what will it predict again if i go n ask again..><
but afraid to know about the answer to my doubts..
afraid that every prediction will come true..
dilemma...

some part of me enjoying the life i'm now..
some part of it.. keep grudging..
some part of it keep holding me back..
when all the mix feeling come simultaneously..
that will be the time i really wanna see u..
yet i dont know how to tell u how i feel..

i duno whether i can go through this for the rest of my life..
i need confidence
n assurance...
continuously...
to get through every bits..
i really do hope that i'm doing ok..

~peace~

13th of september

suppose to be studying pharmaceutical organice chemistry for next week quiz.. but the gloomy weather outside just makes me feel moody as well.. ><><
i'm easily influenced byt he environment..
music to be exact..
sometimes weather
sometimes stress..
stress will be more significant that makes me moody for the past few weeks..
realised that u need to completely fall in love again to a new thing..
it is like falling for another guy again..
and i really hate that kinda feeling..><
fortunately, i'm learning to love what i'm doing now.. thanks...
pls just makes me love it more n more n more n more.....