Ending the Year of Rabbit~

Time flies..

Year of Rabbit ending soon..

and the last week is accompanied by so much of painful tooth.. T.T

Yet..

Im so afraid to go to the dentist..

Afraid of the excruciating pain of tooth extraction..

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Christmas ended with a meaningful charity performance by Banting Orchestra.

Played percussion this time..

and glad that i performed better than practice..

haha!

First time playing different instrument on stage..

Still prefer to play erhu though..

WIsh everyone had a great Christmas and Happy New Year.. <3

What a relieve~

Finally

Exam is finish~

Exam..

Talking about this i have been having exam since i was 6~

until now...

every year i will need to undergo that tension

i wonder how long to go before that kind of tension stops..

Exam is a very irony things sometimes..

It is suppose to test how much knowledge that we have gained in that particular subjects that we have studied..

But for some reasons..

Most of us tend to forget 80% of the things that we have studies immediately after exam..

So what is the purpose to exam actually?

Learning like tat makes me feel like what we learn is just to pass the exam but not to empower the knowledge we have learned..

but yet this is the policy that we cannot change so we can just accept that and hope the best for our exam~

Exam ends..

Happy..

Relieve..

so.. what's next??

(* another dilemma in thinking how to spend the 1 month wisely.. )

Self Reflect..

There are times when you do not know whether your decision made is right or wrong..

because we cannot foresee the consequences of the decision..

If we were to know the consequences..

Life would be easier right?

But, life is never easy..

Always..

we make decision base on our self interest..

which is best benefit self..

we will tend to choose that decision..

this is the norm~

I used to be making decision base on majority interest..

As time goes by~

I realize that people do not actually care about you have done and think that you are obligated to help them..

I do not have a Buddha's heart and this change me into more self-conscious person..

I understand that we should help people without asking back anything..

I did..

instead of not getting back anything..

i got worst~

so should one be so kind till letting people taking everything for granted?

dilemma much

one be kind to people 100 times but did not get back any thank you

one be mean to people 1 time and get all the hatred forever..

do u even consider that fair?

As i have said..

Life ain't easy..

should i be more firm or just try to keep quiet and keep everyone happy?

彷徨

人

总是会选择成群的生活

因为怕寂寞，怕被人用异样的眼神对待

我也是一样

怕寂寞

所以也选择了成群生活

人家说

有两个人，就会产生政治

何况是成群生活？

那我要选择去面对政治呢？

还是离开成群生活？

矛盾. 彷徨.

面对着大家

看似很多朋友

但怎么回到家

夜深时

孤单的感觉却一一浮现出来

好困哦

想每个人开心真的很累人

想不理别人的眼光真的也很难

想不理别人的冷言冷语更难

为何人越长越大

那道隐形的墙就越来越厚

人的心就越来越难猜测

防备心也得越来越强

那 我还能找到真心的朋友吗？

我还能相信身边的人吗？

彷徨.无奈.失落.寂寞.

New ain't good stuff

Was supposed to accompany grandma to get her hair permed.. but the hair stylist decided to do something with my already dried curl hair... hahaha..

Has always been wondering how will I look with a curly hair.. Not quite a fan actually.. Maybe due to my small eyes.. it doesn't look really nice on me..

Might need to wait for next few years before i decided to opt for this curly hair look then.. Straight hair will still be my best look at the moment.. ><"

PATIENCE IS THE KEY WORD

Elyn.. hold your breath and count 1 to 3..

it is always not easy to become a leader u knew it and that is why u are avoiding it

facing it back is a challenge and u know the consequences..

so please be rational and not emotional and be patience with anything

if u explode..

that makes u no difference with anyone...

so please get back in control..

and remember..

any wrong move will also ruin your CGPA..

so be patience

BE PATIENCE~~~~

最疼的

亲人过世

而心疼的，并不是他

而是年老的阿嫲

眼前的她

还不知儿子已不在世

谁都不忍心要告诉她

心疼

却无能为力

只能祈求观音娘娘

大发慈悲

让阿嫲能坚强地度过

心真的很难受

对别人说

只能让别人也难受，难堪

所以也只能对着无亲的部落格说

有时

真的很希望

心能坚强多一点

因为

脆弱的心

一点点事

就真的碎了

The First Day

I always believe in good start..

That is where I gain my confident in everything..

However..

Things don't always turn out the way u wanted it to be.. (most of the time ><")

the more u want it.. the uglier it will turn out to be..

The first day of class start with the our Dean Briefing..

As usual.. the "talking"

the same thing repeating for the last 4 semesters..

but I actually appreciate that he is willing to spend his time to motivate us with his words..

although sarcastic much.. but encouraging.. hah..

The last class was briefing of our selective..

That is where the nightmare begins..

when situation happens..

that is when all the masks are taken away...

ugly side of the human beings unfold..

selfishness and greed pouring out from every soul

prepare to grab on the opportunity for their own sake..

As far as i have live..

and especially in Malaysia...

i have understand how to spell Unfairness...

there will never be fairness in this competitive world..

the only things that we can do..

is to always maintain out integrity, self respect and principle..

For survival of the fittest says..

fairness is never an option..

u will need to fight in order to survive in this cruel world..

One day.. Man will even eat their own child if there is no food left in this world..

Pathetic as it seems..

this is the reality..

靠自己

真的 很想 让自己 再坚强 多一点点

爱自己多一点点

我想

我应该 不会那么地 难受吧

Down by illness

No matter how strong you are..

when illness strike in

u will come down...

Resolution of 2011

As a 21 years old, I should be setting myself a proper resolution..

start with something small so it wont be hard to accomplish..

but always setting a resolution for the whole year will be kinda hard.. ><" especially to maintain that goal..

So.. in 2011..

Think positively will be my first major resolution! Even though everything went out bad..

Nothing lucky happen to me.. I still need to think POSITIVELY.

positive positive positive positive positive positive

Be angelic and always do good.. within my own abilities though.. Except for those who takes

advantages on me or other people..

angelic angelic angelic angelic angelic angelic

2 will be enough and hopefully i will be a better person by the end of the year..

Happy New Year everyone!!